Iron(y) Man

For some unfathomable reasons, Google rejected my application for an ad-sense account for this blog. I want my blog to display relevant advertisements and thus help me earn some extra allowance. However, the people at Google think otherwise. What is the problem if an average ordinary guy wants to earn money by penning down his thoughts? …that too without using any profanities or talking about pre-marital affairs. I’m sure Chetan Bhagat never had any problems for finding sponsors for his website. There’s irony hidden in it somewhere but you’d rather find it for yourself.

Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!

In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home…or whatever was left of it. Mayawati’s supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the “inciting violence” infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But…they will do NOTHING.

Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I’m serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN’S STUPIDITY.

Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, “It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress.” I’ll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).

The most obvious question in your mind, “What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn’t he get up and do something himself.” Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing…the guy tried to bring about a change. And that’s far better than complaining.

If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world…for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple…how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you’ll always find me by your side. I hope you don’t see irony here because none is intended.

Be the change you want to see in the world. – Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Disturbia

A word that has made the entire world shudder and bow down on its knees – Recession.

Recession is everywhere, prices are rising like the beanstalk in Jack’s backyard, there’s no job security let alone job satisfaction. People are annnoyed, confused and scared. Anyone who dares to dream about the future finds this poltergeist hiding in the shadows. But is that it? Is everyone a victim or are there people who are making most of this appehensive mood of the masses?

Nowadays, everything can be blamed on recession. Lay-offs in big organizations, bankruptcy petitions, higher prices, fall in stock market have been associated with it for a long time. But there are others. Noida Police attributed the suicide of a young woman to…well…recession. Colleges are hiking their fees due to…greed…no….recession. It is omnipresent. Everyone wants this nightmare to end.

Come to think of it, does everyone actually want it to end? Organizations are making a killing. Before recession, it was 3 employees doing the work of 4 for a good salary. After recession, its 1 person doing the same amount of work for almost no salary. He is happy just because he still has a job. Employees will work overtime without thinking about bonus pay. Do you think the companies will want the situation to change quickly?

In the market, the prices can be adjusted without counting the demand factor. Hoard goods, tell everyone its recession, hike the prices and enjoy the festive season.

Then there’s the eternal excuse of having something to blame for your own failure. Humans like to have a scapegoat whenever they make a blooper. Recession’s the panacea. Did not score well in exams, its the economy’s fault. India lost a cricket match, recession affected the team’s morale. Can’t present your girlfriend with that romantic teddy. Ahhh, recession. Do you think we can let go of such a beautiful fabrication.

And they say, no good comes from a recessive economy!

When your neighbour loses his job, it is called an economic slowdown. When you lose your job, it is a recession. But when an economist loses his job, it becomes a depression.

Gandhi – the Vision and the Glasses

Congratulations to all my brethren for getting back what was rightfully ours. A certain pair of glasses that were under the hammer at a very big auction. India’s prestige has been restored in the International community. Vijay Mallya turned out to be the greatest patriot of ‘em all by shelling out a cool $ 1.8 million for the Gandhi Goodies©.

Somehow, I’ve begun to doubt my own sense of patriotism. My chest just refused to swell with pride when the news was announced. I apologize to Indrajit Hazra for quoting him here with the quote unquoted as he quoted exactly what I had been thinking.

My only question is: If we Indians wanted the Gandhi Goodies © (glasses, slippers, bowl and blood report)so badly, why did we ask the government to get them for us? After all, unlike the Kohinoor diamond and most of the Indian artifacts scattered across various museums around the world, these Gandhi Goodies© weren’t stolen property that left an unholy imperialist-hegemonic ooze-trail across continents and time. This was fair and square deal in which the owner of the Gandhi Goodies© had decided to sell them to the highest bidder…No burglaries, no customs rackets, no Tomb Raider sequences, no RSS hanky-panky that we are so familiar with…All legit. So, why couldn’t one of us, so keen to suck every Gandhi item scattered across the globe, raise his hand and make a bid at the Antiquorum auction last Tuesday night at New York?

No, you don’t have to answer the above question. Not that I expect you to, anyway. What’s the big deal with the glasses? I thought Gandhi was about ideology and not idol worship.Frankly, I have come to accept the Great Indian Hypocrisy as a way of life. To think of it, alcohol was the vilest thing according to Gandhi (That’s why October 2 is a Dry Day!). Almost six decades after his death, India; his own country; cheered while his belongings were purchased at an auction by India’s biggest liquor baron. Another one bites the dust in front of the Great Indian Hypocrisy! May his soul rest in peace.

This one flew right over the KINGFISHER’s nest!